Able to Care

Anxiety Isn’t Weakness – It’s Wisdom in Disguise

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Jennifer Roblin, anxiety specialist, therapist, and founder of Better Your Life. Together, they explore how anxiety impacts the lives of carers, teachers, and parents — not just as a condition, but as a learned, evolutionary response we can better understand, reframe, and manage.
Drawing from lived experience, neuroscience, and tools like NLP, nervous system resets, and heart coherence, Jennifer shares practical tips, relatable insights, and hope for those feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.
Whether you’re supporting someone with anxiety or experiencing it yourself, this episode offers a refreshing, honest, and empowering perspective.
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
You’ll understand the difference between stress and anxiety — and when to seek help
You’ll learn powerful nervous system hacks you can use in the moment
You’ll realise you're not broken — and how to reclaim your power step-by-step
You’ll gain a fresh outlook on self-care that’s realistic, personal, and actionable
You’ll hear a deeply relatable story that proves: anxiety doesn’t define you
💡 Three Key Messages
Anxiety is a survival tool, not a personal flaw – understanding its evolutionary purpose changes how we respond to it.
Small changes create big shifts – journaling, breathing, and nervous system resets can retrain the brain over time.
Burnout isn’t weakness — it’s a signal – recognising early signs and reconnecting with nature and rest can prevent collapse.
⏱ Timestamps / Chapters
00:01 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK
00:42 – Meet Jennifer Roblin and her lived experience with anxiety
03:00 – Panic attacks at 11 and early childhood messages
06:00 – Shifting identity and finding confidence abroad
10:00 – Reframing anxiety: from stigma to superpower
13:00 – What anxiety actually is and how it works
17:00 – Signs you’re dealing with anxiety vs. everyday stress
21:00 – The link between procrastination, fear of failure, and tribal instincts
24:00 – Burnout in caregivers and professionals — how to spot it early
29:00 – Jennifer’s go-to anxiety tools: journaling, breathing, nervous system hacks
34:00 – Why “self-care” needs a rebrand and what it looks like in real life
41:00 – Signs of progress, even when you don’t notice it
46:00 – What Jennifer would say to her younger self
50:00 – The one thing you can do today to begin change
🤝 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK.For less than the price of a box of chocolates a year, Carers Card UK gives you:
An emergency ID card
Discounts on gyms, days out, clothing, glasses & more
A wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool & app-based communityStart caring for yourself with the recognition you deserve.👉 Get your card here
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Jennifer’s website: www.betteryourlife.co.uk
Instagram: @bylanxietymgmt
LinkedIn: Jennifer Roblin
Free Journaling Prompts for Anxiety – available on Jennifer’s website
Nervous System Reset Programme: £299 (10% off for Able to Care listeners)
📲 Follow Able Training & Able to Care
🎧 Podcast Home: able-training.co.uk/podcast
🔗 LinkedIn: Able Training
📸 Instagram: @abletraining
🟦 Facebook: Able Training
🎥 YouTube: Able Training YouTube

Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA): Why It’s Not Defiance, It’s Autonomy

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist, trainer, and author Andy Baker unpacks Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)—or as many now prefer to call it, a Persistent Drive for Autonomy.
If you’ve ever supported someone—child or adult—who seemed to resist even the simplest of requests, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Andy explores:
What PDA is (and why language matters)
Why traditional behaviour strategies often make things worse
How to shift from confrontation to collaboration
Practical, compassionate strategies for reducing anxiety and increasing cooperation
This episode is a must-listen for parents, carers, teachers, and support staff seeking a more empathetic and effective approach to neurodivergent behaviour.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Carers Card UK is proud to support unpaid and paid carers across the UK.
🎁 Use code ABLETOCARE to unlock:
Exclusive discounts on everyday essentials, gyms, clothing, and days out
A professional carer ID card with emergency information
Access to the Carers Circle app, wellbeing tools, and a national support network
👉 Order your Carers Card today
🔗 Resources & Mentions
Carers Card UK
Able Training Courses on PDA
Targeting the Positive – Book by Andy Baker
💡 3 Key Messages:
It's not refusal, it’s regulation.PDA is not about defiance—it’s about managing anxiety, safety, and control. Reframing it changes everything.
Demands can be invisible—and overwhelming.Everyday requests stack up quickly, and even praise or routine expectations can feel threatening to someone with a PDA profile.
Autonomy builds trust.When we shift from control to collaboration, we don’t lose authority—we gain connection, trust, and progress.
⏱️ Timestamps / Episode Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Why simple requests can trigger distress
00:27 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
02:05 – What is PDA or Persistent Drive for Autonomy?
03:06 – Why the language we use really matters
04:00 – Understanding the deep human need for control
05:32 – Traditional behaviour strategies often fail PDA profiles
06:25 – Signs and strategies of demand avoidance
07:37 – Fight or flight: when tactics fail and distress escalates
08:05 – Why rewards, praise, and even kindness can trigger
09:15 – The demand threshold: how many is too many?
10:06 – Why taking control away makes things worse
11:05 – Moving from command to collaboration
12:13 – Indirect language, curiosity, and offering choices
13:22 – Prioritising demands: What really matters today?
14:11 – Boundaries vs. power struggles
15:14 – Building trust through structure, not pressure
16:06 – Reflecting on our own behaviour and reducing demands
17:13 – Final message: They’re not resisting help—they’re resisting powerlessness
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you're supporting a child or adult who seems “oppositional,” “manipulative,” or “non-compliant,” this episode will shift your lens. It offers practical, trauma-informed tools to support those with PDA, helping you build trust, reduce anxiety, and promote emotional safety.
Perfect for:
Parents feeling stuck or blamed
Teachers who want alternatives to reward/punishment systems
Carers looking for tools to avoid daily conflict
Support workers seeking to understand behaviour at its root
📲 Stay Connected with Able Training:
🎧 More episodes: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast📘 Andy’s Book – Targeting the Positive: Buy on Amazon💳 Carers Card UK: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
📱 Follow Us on Social Media:
Instagram – @abletraininguk
Facebook – Able Training
LinkedIn – Andy Baker

She Built a Business to Beat Her Biggest Fear

In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Andy Baker speaks to Sabina Thorpe—a mum, carer, business leader, and woman who grew up silenced by a stammer and the weight of cultural expectations.
Sabina opens up about her childhood experiences of bullying, being told to stay quiet, and feeling utterly alone. But she also shares how she turned those struggles into strength—first by learning to speak for herself, and then by building a call centre, multiple businesses, and eventually co-founding DeskVal, an AI-powered property valuation platform now disrupting the industry.
This isn’t just a story of business—it’s a story of identity, resilience, and the power of being seen and heard.
Whether you're caring for others, raising children, teaching young minds, or trying to reclaim your own voice, this episode will stay with you.
💙 Sponsored by:
Carers Card UK – Created by carers, for carers.
🎁 Use code ABLETOCARE to access:
Discounts on groceries, days out, clothing & more
A carer ID card with emergency info
Wellbeing tools, the Carers Circle app & online support
👉 Grab your Carers Card here 💳 Claim your Carers Card Discount: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
🔗 Resources & Links:
🌐 Sabina Thorpe on LinkedIn
🏡 DeskVal – AI Property Valuations
📲 Follow Sabina on Instagram
🎥 Interview: Sabina’s Journey to DeskVal
📰 Roma Finance launches DeskVal
📘 Targeting the Positive – Andy Baker
💡 Three Key Messages for Carers, Parents & Teachers:
You don’t have to be fluent to be powerful.Sabina shows that communication is more than words—it’s courage, intention, and showing up anyway.
Children need role models who are real.Whether you’re a parent, teacher or support worker, showing how you face your challenges helps children face theirs.
Your voice belongs in the room.Sabina didn’t wait for permission. She made space—and now helps others do the same.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro: Why this conversation matters
00:48 – Sabina’s childhood with a stammer and cultural silence
05:00 – Being misunderstood and the toll on self-worth
08:30 – The moment she decided to stop hiding
13:00 – Building resilience by facing fears—starting a call centre!
20:00 – The tools that helped: Maguire Programme, mindset, havening
25:00 – From silence to success: business, finance and finding her voice
32:00 – How to support someone with a speech difference
38:00 – What having a stammer feels like
45:00 – Why kids (and parents) need emotional tools
50:00 – Sabina’s message to those who feel different
54:00 – Empowering the next generation through visibility & courage
58:00 – DeskVal: disrupting property and breaking barriers
01:00:00 – Final thoughts: your voice matters, now more than ever
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you support others—whether you're raising kids, caring for a loved one, teaching in a classroom, or managing emotional needs—this episode is a reminder that self-worth isn’t about perfection.
Sabina’s journey will help you:
Understand what it’s like to live with a stammer
Support children with communication differences more effectively
Reflect on your own self-talk and resilience
See how mindset shifts and support systems can rewrite anyone’s story
Her story is raw, real, and incredibly relevant for anyone who's ever felt on the outside looking in.
📲 Stay Connected:
🎧 More episodes: Able to Care Podcast📘 Read Andy’s Book: Targeting the Positive💳 Claim your Carers Card Discount: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
📱 Follow Us Online:
Instagram – @abletraininguk
LinkedIn – Andy Baker
Facebook – Able Training
Website - Able Training

The Hidden Curriculum: Behaviour They Learn from You

We teach more with our tone, facial expressions, and reactions than with any lesson plan. In this powerful solo episode, Andy Baker explores the concept of the hidden curriculum—the silent lessons we teach every day through our behaviour, body language, and boundaries.
Whether you're a parent, teacher, carer or support worker, you're constantly delivering messages—about safety, empathy, trust, and identity—without even realising it. So what are people really learning from you?
This episode will help you become more intentional about your presence and model the values you want to pass on.
💙 Sponsored by:
Carers Card UKThe UK’s number one carers discount card, designed to reward and support unpaid carers.
🎁 Use promo code ABLETOCARE to unlock:
Discounts on gyms, clothes, days out & more
A professional ID card with emergency info
Access to a wellbeing hub and carers’ app
All for less than a box of chocolates a year.👉 Get yours here
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
💡 Three Key Messages:
Behaviour is curriculum.Every sigh, smile, or boundary teaches something. Children and adults alike copy what they see, not what they’re told.
Emotional safety is taught through presence.Calm body language, empathy, and clear boundaries teach regulation, identity, and self-worth.
Reflecting on our own hidden lessons is essential.Understanding what we unintentionally learned—and may still be teaching—helps break cycles and shape better futures.
⏱️ Episode Chapters:
00:00 – What is the hidden curriculum?
00:27 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:47 – We teach with more than our words
02:36 – How stress, tone & facial expressions model behaviour
04:50 – Mirror neurons, empathy, and emotional contagion
06:30 – Auditing your tone and actions
07:54 – Subtle shaming: schools, police, and healthcare narratives
09:02 – Stigma, ageism, and unconscious bias
09:16 – Naming the learning out loud
09:38 – “Do you want a hug, help, or to be heard?”
10:30 – Aligning boundaries with compassion
11:07 – Emotional literacy and modelling empathy
11:59 – What hidden curriculum are we passing on as a team?
12:46 – Final thoughts: What are YOU teaching without knowing?
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is essential listening for anyone who works with or supports others—especially parents, teachers, carers, and leaders.
You’ll walk away with:
A deeper awareness of the emotional messages you send daily
Practical tools to model calm, empathy, and safety
Insight into how to reflect and adjust the unspoken lessons you teach
Whether you’re raising children or leading teams, the hidden curriculum you deliver shapes lives.
📲 Stay Connected:
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast

Understanding Dementia: What Every Carer and Family Needs to Know

In this must-listen guide for families, carers, and professionals, Able to Care host Andy Baker is joined by Meghan Earle, Able Training’s passionate and experienced lead dementia trainer.
Together, they unpack some of the most important—but often misunderstood—questions about dementia:
What actually is dementia?
What are the early signs (beyond memory loss)?
How do we communicate and engage meaningfully as dementia progresses?
What systems and mindsets need to change to truly support people living with dementia?
With stories from training rooms and care homes across the UK, Meghan shares expert insights and real-life tips to empower carers with confidence, clarity, and compassion.
💙 Sponsored by:
Carers Card UK – The UK’s #1 discount card for unpaid carers.
🎁 Order your card to get:
An official ID card with emergency info
Discounts on groceries, days out, clothing, gyms & more
Access to the Carers Circle wellbeing tool and app
🛒 Claim your discount now 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
Dementia Forward – Support & Helpline
Alzheimer’s Society – Types of Dementia
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Able Training Dementia Courses
💡 Three Key Messages:
“It’s not just memory loss.”Dementia affects different parts of the brain—vision, language, personality, perception—and every person’s journey is unique.
“Distress is not a symptom—it’s a signal.”Aggression, withdrawal, and agitation often stem from unmet needs or environmental overwhelm—not the dementia itself.
“Connection matters more than correction.”Responding with empathy, not facts, is key. Join people in their world, honour their emotions, and meet them where they are.
⏱️ Episode Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome & Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:10 – Meet Meghan Earle: Lead dementia trainer & lived experience
02:00 – What is dementia (really)?
03:30 – Why “just dementia” is never enough: the importance of diagnosis
05:00 – The problem with Google, misinformation & medical labels
06:45 – Understanding how dementia affects different parts of the brain
08:00 – Early signs of dementia beyond memory loss
10:00 – The emotional experience of diagnosis & stigma
12:45 – You are not alone: support systems that help
15:00 – Why meaningful engagement matters & what it looks like
20:00 – Behaviour, communication & the power of asking “why?”
25:00 – Mistakes carers make (and how to fix them)
30:00 – The “I want to go home” moment—what to say instead
36:00 – Escalation, distress & why prevention beats reaction
42:00 – Why care home environments need rethinking
47:00 – Dementia training: what makes it work?
52:00 – Don’t give up—there’s always something else to try
55:00 – Final thoughts: empathy, intention & learning together
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is essential for anyone supporting a loved one—or working with people—living with dementia. You’ll leave with a clearer understanding, greater confidence, and real-world strategies for:
✅ Communicating calmly and meaningfully✅ Spotting distress and responding with care✅ Accessing support before crisis hits✅ Shifting from correction to connection
Whether you’re a carer, support worker, nurse, or family member—this is your practical and emotional guide to dementia care done right.
📲 Stay Connected:
🎧 Listen to more episodes: Able to Care Podcast
📘 Read Targeting the Positive – Andy Baker: Buy on Amazon
💳 Claim your Carers Card Discount: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
📱 Follow Andy & Able Training:
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

6 Smarter Ways to Teach Behaviour (Without Punishment)

Are consequences the only way to manage behaviour? In this thought-provoking solo episode, behaviour specialist and trainer Andy Baker challenges one of the most commonly accepted ideas in parenting, education, and care: that consequences are the best way to teach behaviour.
From the science of brain regulation to trauma-informed practice and real-world stories, Andy shares six powerful, research-backed strategies that are not only more effective—but also kinder. Whether you're a parent, teacher, support worker or carer, this episode will shift your mindset and give you tools to build connection instead of control.
💙 Sponsored by:
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
Polyvagal Theory – Explained by NICABM
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
💡 Three Key Messages:
Punishment isn't teaching—it’s suppression.True behaviour change comes from teaching, not controlling. Consequences alone rarely build long-term learning or emotional resilience.
Connection is the most powerful behaviour tool we have.Co-regulation, empathy, storytelling and reflection help build the skills needed to manage behaviour from the inside out.
Investing time upfront saves time later.It may feel quicker to impose a consequence, but when we use modelling and skill-building instead, we reduce repeat incidents.
⏱️ Episode Chapters:
00:00 – Consequences aren’t the only tool
00:25 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:46 – Why we default to punishment: evolution, culture, behaviourism
03:46 – How punishment creates a cycle of low self-esteem
04:50 – The brain under stress: why consequences fail when dysregulated
05:37 – Shame, deflection, and emotional safety
06:00 – The 6 teaching tools that work better than consequences:
Modelling
Practice & rehearsal
Co-regulation
Reflection & repair
Storytelling & metaphor
Natural/logical consequences
13:52 – What about accountability?
15:23 – Is this all too “soft”? Or is it strategic?
16:22 – Weekly challenge: replace one consequence with a teaching tool
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode flips the script on how we teach behaviour—whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker. You’ll walk away with practical, compassionate alternatives to traditional discipline, rooted in psychology, neuroscience and real-life application.
If you’ve ever asked:➡️ “What else can I do when consequences don’t work?”➡️ “How can I improve behaviour without shouting or punishment?”➡️ “How do I teach better choices in the moment?”
—then this episode is a must-listen.
📲 Stay Connected:
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

When the System Takes Your Child: A Father’s Fight to Reunite

In this powerful episode, Andy Baker is joined by Lee Crouch, a father, advocate, and author of Lee’s Journey, who opens up about his experience of losing his children to the care system—and the long, painful road to reunification. Lee discusses the trauma of forced separation, the flaws within social care systems, and how hope, consistency, and accountability helped rebuild his family.
With raw honesty and incredible humility, Lee speaks directly to parents, foster carers, and professionals—offering a unique insight into what real change and co-parenting can look like, even after unimaginable loss.
💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned:
Carers Card UK
Lee’s Journey – Book (soon available) (Lee will update us when published)
Dementia UK: Admiral Nurses
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
💡 Three Key Messages:
You Can’t Co-Parent Without Trust—Even in the Care SystemLee highlights how positive relationships between parents and foster carers are possible and powerful—with transparency, humility, and shared purpose.
Accountability and Hope Can CoexistLee doesn’t shy away from the mistakes that led to his children’s removal. But he shows that ownership, emotional growth, and persistence can lead to reunification.
The System Must Change Its LensParents are not case files. Children are not tick boxes. Lee calls for earlier support, post-removal care for parents, and system accountability when placements fail.
⏱️ Episode Chapters:
00:00 – Intro & Carers Card UK sponsor
01:47 – Meet Lee: Author, father, and advocate
04:00 – The day everything changed: courtroom heartbreak
08:00 – Fighting the system & fighting for change
14:00 – Emotional transformation and vulnerability in men
20:00 – Sky, Leighton, Summer & Caden: the children’s individual journeys
28:00 – Co-parenting with foster carers vs. instability in placements
35:00 – Caden’s trauma: when the system fails a child
44:00 – Post-removal support (or lack of it)
52:00 – The fight for parental advocacy
58:00 – Reunification: where the children are now
01:04:00 – Final message to parents: Don’t give up hope
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This is more than a podcast—it’s a call to action. Whether you’re a parent, social worker, foster carer, policymaker, or professional, Lee’s story offers a rare and deeply moving look at what real change, compassion, and collaboration can achieve.
You’ll leave this episode feeling challenged, heartbroken, and hopeful all at once.
📲 Stay Connected
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

The Power of Repair: Rebuilding Trust After Behaviour Challenges

Most of us think behaviour management is about stopping the outburst—but the truth is, what happens afterwards matters even more. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks the power of repair after conflict and why it’s the most overlooked stage in care, education, and family life. Learn how repair builds trust, strengthens relationships, and prevents repeated incidents—whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UKThe Able to Care podcast is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK.Carers Card UK provides carers with:
💳 A recognised ID card
🌐 A wellbeing hub & Carers Circle tool
🎁 Discounts on essentials like gym memberships, clothing, glasses, days out & more
All for less than the cost of a box of chocolates per year. Order yours today at Carers Card UK. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Dan Siegel’s Name it to Tame it principle
Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
Andy Baker’s relational response flow (Connect → Resolve/Correct → Record/Reflect)
🧠 Three Key Messages
Repair is not optional – Behaviour isn’t truly resolved until trust is rebuilt afterwards.
Brains learn in recovery, not in crisis – Reflection works only once calm has returned.
Repair strengthens relationships – Consistent repair fosters safety, resilience, and long-term positive outcomes.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why repair is the missing piece in behaviour management
02:00 – Understanding recovery vs. crisis learning
04:15 – The neuroscience of memory and the recency effect
06:00 – Repair, attachment theory, and building resilience
08:30 – Practical frameworks: feelings before facts & reflection models
11:00 – Real-world example: A parent choosing repair over confrontation
13:00 – The PERFORM framework for debrief and moving on
15:30 – Objections answered: “We don’t have time for repair”
17:30 – Final reflection: Trust is built in recovery, not calm
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?If you’ve ever wondered why the same behaviours keep happening, this episode will shift your perspective. You’ll walk away with practical tools for:
Rebuilding trust after conflict
Supporting children, adults, or older people more effectively
Saving time and energy by preventing repeat incidentsThis is essential listening for anyone in care, education, or parenting who wants stronger relationships and better outcomes.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Food, Frailty & Dignity: Supporting Nutrition in Older Age

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by Mary Merheim, elderly nutrition consultant and author of Navigating Nutrition in Later Life. Mary shares practical insights into why appetite often declines with age, the hidden risks of malnutrition in older people, and the simple, everyday strategies carers can use to help loved ones eat well.
From small snack hacks to re-thinking mealtime as a social connection, this conversation is full of advice for parents, carers, and professionals who want to ensure dignity, independence, and better health through food.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UKCarers Card UK provides support, recognition and rewards for carers across the country. From discounts on gym memberships, clothing and days out, to access to wellbeing tools and a supportive community, it’s all available for less than the price of a box of chocolates a year.
👉 Get your Carers Card today: Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Mary’s Website: marymerheim.co.uk
Grand Bars (nutritious cake snacks): grandbarsnacks.com
Mary’s Book: Navigating Nutrition in Later Life – available on Amazon
Follow Mary on TikTok for short tips: @MaryMerheim
🧠 Three Key Messages
Every mouthful matters – older adults still need nutrient-dense food, not just calories.
Social eating boosts appetite – shared meals encourage connection and prevent loneliness.
Small changes go far – whole milk, eggs, oats, and fortified snacks can transform daily nutrition.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK01:41 – Why nutrition in later life matters06:00 – Why appetite often declines with age12:00 – Signs of poor nutrition in older adults20:00 – Food, mood, and the link to mental health30:00 – Small changes that make a big difference40:00 – Practical snack and meal ideas50:00 – Real stories of nutrition improving lives55:00 – Gadgets, adjustments, and independence01:00:00 – Supporting people with dysphagia01:02:00 – Where to find Mary Merheim & Grand Bars
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?If you’ve ever worried about a loved one losing weight, refusing meals, or becoming frailer with age, this episode is essential listening. Mary provides evidence-based advice and compassionate guidance for carers and families navigating the tricky reality of appetite loss, malnutrition, and dignity in later life.
You’ll walk away with practical tips you can use straight away – from making small swaps in the kitchen to transforming mealtimes into moments of joy and connection.
🔗 Connect with Us📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Lies, Trust and Survival: Rethinking Dishonesty

Lying is one of the behaviours that gets under our skin the most. Whether it’s a child saying “I didn’t do it”, a teen spinning a story, or an adult covering up a mistake, our instinct is often to jump straight to moral judgment. But what if lying isn’t about dishonesty at all? What if it’s about survival, safety, control, and self-esteem?
In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker explores the psychology of lying—why it’s a universal behaviour across ages and cultures, what research reveals about punishment versus empathy, and how parents, teachers, and carers can respond in ways that build trust and honesty instead of shame.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UKCaring, whether paid or unpaid, deserves recognition. Carers Card UK is the nation’s leading carers card, giving you:
An ID card with emergency info access
A growing discount network (gyms, days out, clothing, glasses & more)
A Wellbeing Hub, Carers Circle tool, and app-based communityAll for less than the cost of a box of chocolates per year.👉 Order yours today  Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Carers Card UK – sponsor of the Able to Care Podcast
Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge – Andy Baker’s book with the TARGET model for de-escalation and behaviour support (available worldwide)
Research on lying in child development: Talwar & Lee (2008) – Developmental milestone of lying and theory of mind
🧠 Three Key Messages
Lying is normal, not immoral – From monkeys using false calls to five-year-olds testing theory of mind, lying is an adaptive survival strategy.
Punishment breeds better liars – Harsh sanctions don’t reduce lying; they teach children to get better at deception to protect themselves.
Curiosity beats judgment – Instead of “they lied to me,” ask: What need is this lie protecting? Empathy builds honesty, while shame destroys trust.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why lying triggers moral judgment
00:25 – 💙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:45 – Lying across species and cultures
03:14 – Why all children lie (developmental milestone)
05:10 – Punishment vs empathy: Malaysian study insights
07:45 – Why people lie for control, safety, and esteem
09:22 – Dementia, FASD, and “filling the gaps”
10:22 – Storytelling, self-worth, and “identity lying”
11:35 – Reframing lies: survival, not deceit
13:00 – Avoiding the “parenting trap” when teaching truth
15:17 – Why harsh responses fuel deception
16:27 – Repairing trust instead of shaming
17:57 – Natural consequences and safe environments
18:45 – Final reflection: when honesty feels safe, truth grows
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?If you’ve ever felt frustrated by lying—whether in the classroom, at home, or in care—this episode will change how you see it. Andy Baker blends research, psychology, and lived experience to show how lying can be reframed as a protective behaviour and how empathy, not punishment, is the key to building lasting trust.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk