Able to Care

Love, Loss and Dignity: Rethinking Dementia Support

When dementia takes away memories, what happens to identity—especially if the world never truly recognised it in the first place? In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Neil Cutler, advocate, presenter, and trustee at Dementia Forward. Drawing on his personal journey of caring for his late husband who lived with dementia, Neil shares candid insights into how dementia uniquely impacts older LGBT people. From navigating prejudice in care settings to the fight for inclusive dementia training, this is an unmissable conversation about love, loss, dignity, and the urgent need for change in health and social care.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app
All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Dementia Forward – Neil’s organisation supporting people living with dementia across communities.
Carers Card UK – sponsor of the Able to Care Podcast.
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠 Three Key Messages
Identity matters in dementia care – recognising and respecting who someone is can be as important as supporting what they can do.
Language shapes inclusion – words like “placement” or “contact” can feel clinical; replacing them with “home” and “family time” fosters dignity.
Training is essential – mandatory LGBT dementia awareness training can transform care home culture and ensure no one is forgotten.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction: Dementia, memory, and identity
02:00 – Neil’s story: Love, care, and losing his husband to dementia
10:00 – How dementia impacts LGBT identity in care homes
16:00 – Person-centred care vs. identity never recognised
21:00 – Why inclusive training matters
25:00 – Activities, community, and belonging in care homes
34:00 – Family, friends, and chosen support networks
38:00 – Turning grief into purpose: Neil’s advocacy and training work
46:00 – Hopes for the future of inclusive dementia care
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?This episode goes beyond dementia—it’s about dignity, belonging, and creating care systems that truly see people for who they are. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or health professional, Neil’s story will inspire you to think differently about inclusion, compassion, and how we respond to the most vulnerable in our communities.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Good & Evil: Ditch the Labels, see the person, not the category.

In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks why calling someone a “good kid” or a “bad kid” (or colleague, or parent) is a trap. You’ll learn how confirmation bias, the fundamental attribution error, and the halo/horn effect quietly shape our judgments—then get practical, trauma-informed ways to move from moral labels to needs-based, descriptive language. Perfect for parents, teachers, and carers who want better relationships, calmer behaviour, and fairer decisions.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app
All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Confirmation Bias (explainer) — how we only see what we expect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
Fundamental Attribution Error — why we blame their character but excuse our context: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error
Halo/Horn Effect — first impressions that distort everything after: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker (the TARGET model & de-escalation tools)  Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠 Three Key Messages
Labels limit: “Good/bad” thinking triggers confirmation bias, making us collect evidence to prove ourselves right and miss the full picture.
Describe, don’t judge: Swap moral labels (“He’s aggressive”) for neutral, specific behaviour (“He shouted when asked to stop playing”). Curiosity beats certainty.
Need behind behaviour: Most behaviours serve a function (survival, regulation, communication, control). When we meet the need, behaviour improves.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 — The “good vs bad” trap: why it feels neat but harms decisions
00:19 — 💙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:40 — Why black-and-white thinking shows up in care, education & home
02:21 — Spectrum thinking: people aren’t heroes or villains
03:14 — How labels drive prejudice, stigma & shame cultures
04:01 — Ignorance vs malice: why learning is non-negotiable in care
04:24 — Psychology 101: confirmation bias
05:10 — Fundamental attribution error in everyday life (and traffic!)
06:01 — Halo/horn effect: when looks & first impressions mislead us
07:14 — Moral lens vs needs lens: “What happened to you?”
08:21 — Practical reframes: replace labels with descriptive language
09:15 — Be a detective, not a judge: 3 context questions to ask
09:35 — The “benefit behind behaviour” (survival, regulation, communication, control)
10:20 — Create a balance sheet: record positives as diligently as incidents
11:14 — Notice & reinforce what you want to see more of
13:07 — Boundaries + understanding: compassion isn’t “excusing”
14:20 — Culture shift: stop cementing identities, start spotting strengths
15:01 — Your one-week challenge: swap judgment for curiosity
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
Actionable: Concrete language swaps & prompts you can use today.
Evidence-informed: Social-psychology concepts made practical for parents, teachers, and carers.
Relationship-first: A humane, trauma-informed path to better behaviour and trust.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
If you found this helpful, please rate, review & share with a colleague or fellow parent/carer who’d benefit. Your support helps the show reach the people who need it most.

Supporting Children in Care: Practical Tools for Parents & Teachers

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker sits down with Ryan Kennedy, whose journey from being in care to becoming both a foster carer and social worker shines a light on resilience, reform, and real change. Ryan opens up about the reality of entering foster care, why language matters, and how lived experience can shape better practice for children today. With honesty and insight, Ryan challenges the system while offering hope for what truly works in supporting young people.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UKThis episode is sponsored by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card offering recognition, discounts, and a supportive community for paid and unpaid carers.
👉 Explore the benefits: Carers Card UK  🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Carers Card UK – support, recognition & rewards for carers
Able Hub – access exclusive courses, events & resources for carers
Kennedy Framework – Ryan’s developing model for trauma-informed fostering (link to Ryan’s socials/website if available)
The legacy of Victoria Climbié and reforms in children’s services
Key concepts: trauma-informed care, ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences), family time vs. contact
🧠 Three Key Messages
Language matters. Words like “placement” or “contact” may feel clinical to professionals but can deeply affect how children experience care.
Lived experience is a superpower. Ryan’s perspective as someone who has been a child in care, a foster parent, and a social worker gives unique insights into what the system misses.
Consistency builds trust. Beyond policies, what young people need most is a constant, safe adult who remains present—even after they “age out” of care.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Intro & sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:42 – Ryan Kennedy’s story: from child in care to carer & social worker
02:36 – What social workers miss in those first “safe place” moments
05:40 – Wearing different hats: child, foster parent, social worker
09:14 – Reading files as someone who once was a file
12:20 – How AI could reshape social work language & empathy
13:33 – What training doesn’t tell you: system flaws & barriers
16:00 – Saying no as a foster parent & setting boundaries
19:00 – The difference between being cared for and being understood
25:00 – “Placement” vs. “home” and why language shapes belonging
30:00 – Biggest challenges: advocating within broken systems
42:00 – Education struggles & supporting excluded children
48:00 – Facing the “care cliff” and supporting beyond 18
54:00 – The Kennedy Framework: safe spaces, noticing the unspoken & developing trust
59:00 – Closing thoughts & staying connected
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
Hear the reality of care from someone who’s lived it on all sides
Learn practical insights for carers, teachers & professionals working with children
Understand how language and consistency can change a child’s sense of safety
Be inspired by Ryan’s Kennedy Framework for trauma-informed care
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
👉 If Ryan’s story resonated, please follow, rate & share so more carers, teachers and families can learn from this vital conversation.

Spot the Signs: Prevent Behaviour Escalation Early

In this solo episode, Andy Baker breaks down the early indicators of distress—the subtle “bottom of the rollercoaster” cues most of us miss before behaviour escalates. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, you’ll learn how to recognise micro-signals, why early intervention is everything, and exactly what to say and do in those first crucial moments to prevent crisis, protect relationships, and build trust.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UKProudly sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app
All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Carers Card UK – recognition, discounts & community
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Think Bike campaign video – awareness analogy Andy references
Key concepts: Polyvagal Theory, Window of Tolerance, Crisis Development Model, Co-regulation
🧠 Three Key Messages
Early beats urgent. Escalation rarely comes “out of the blue.” Spot baseline deviations early (posture, tone, fidgeting) to intervene before the “click-click-click” climb.
Respond, don’t react. Use calm tone, gentle noticing (“I see you tapping—are you okay?”) and small adjustments to redirect stress.
Connection is the brake. Empathy, predictability and co-regulation calm faster than control or confrontation.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Hook: invisible escalation & the rollercoaster metaphor
00:28 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:49 – Why “out of the blue” behaviour is a myth
02:10 – Escalation model: intervene before the climb
03:02 – Cinema story: how timing changes the outcome
04:32 – Why late intervention is harder (polyvagal & tolerance window)
06:28 – Knowing a person’s baseline to spot deviations
07:05 – Universal & individual micro-cues (fidgeting, eye contact, silence, self-soothing)
09:34 – Don’t “park” early signs—proactive saves time & safety
11:04 – Scripts: what to say without provoking
12:28 – Co-regulation & calming tools (breaks, activities, sensory adjustments)
13:52 – Awareness vs. “code white” autopilot
14:43 – Regulation as a skill, not defiance
15:30 – Challenge: spot your “bottom of the rollercoaster” cues
16:40 – Classroom example + Think Bike analogy
18:01 – Wrap up
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
Learn how to spot escalation before crisis
Get scripts & strategies you can use right away at home, school, or care settings
Protect relationships and trust while preventing harm
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
👉 If this episode resonated, please follow, rate & share so more carers, teachers and parents can benefit.

Praise, Placements & Belonging: Support Neurodivergent Kids

What if we stopped talking about neurodivergent children and started talking with them? In this powerful, practical conversation, dad–daughter duo Cliff Kilmister (host of the Parenting, Autism & ADHD podcast) and Eva (13) share real-world insights on autism/ADHD, school placements, EHCPs, praise that actually helps, and why listening to young people changes everything. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, this episode gives you language, mindset shifts and everyday strategies to help neurodivergent children thrive.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Proudly supported by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card. Get recognition, an ID card with emergency info, a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, community access and discounts on everything from days out to glasses — for less than a box of chocolates per year.👉  🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Parenting, Autism & ADHD Podcast (Cliff Kilmister) — search in your podcast app.
Eva’s YouTube channel “INSPIRE” — short videos on topics like masking, stimming, and bullying.
IPSEA (independent SEND law advice for families): https://www.ipsea.org.uk
Gov.uk: EHCP guidance for parents and carers: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/education-health-and-care-plans
Cliff's Book - What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop Talking"
National Autistic Society (resources for home and school): https://www.autism.org.uk
Andy’s book — Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠Three Key Messages
Voice over labels: Neurodivergent young people don’t just need adults to speak for them — they need adults to listen to them. Voice, choice and collaboration reduce anxiety and build trust.
Praise the process, not the person or the grade: Switch from “You’re so clever/10-out-of-10!” to “I noticed how you stuck with that and found a strategy that worked.” Process-based feedback supports resilience and reduces performance pressure.
Regulation makes learning possible: Stimming, doodling/sketchbooks, movement and fidgets are tools, not defiance. When classrooms allow regulation, attention rises and behaviour improves.
⏱️Chapter Timestamps
00:00 — Opening: Why talk with neurodivergent children, not just about them
00:20 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK — recognition, community & discounts
01:41 — Meet Cliff & Eva: lived experience behind the mic
02:28 — Moving from mainstream to an SEN setting: confidence, belonging & hope
07:08 — Diagnosis journey: how long it took and what helped
09:07 — Eva on podcasting: sharing honestly to help other kids feel less alone
12:22 — “Look at me when I’m talking!”: why eye contact isn’t the measure of listening
14:02 — Sketchbooks, routines & self-regulation: doodling to focus
17:08 — EHCPs: what we wish we’d known sooner (and why persistence matters)
23:20 — Rethinking praise: process vs. person/outcome — examples for home & school
29:07 — Eva’s videos: masking, bullying, and making sense of school
32:20 — Hopes for the new school year: safety, acceptance and the right support
35:24 — Free/independent SEND advice & why to keep asking for help
39:07 — Guilt, labels & advocacy: you can adapt support before diagnosis
42:26 — What teachers/carers should know: one thing that changes the day
47:14 — Messages to parents and kids: you’re not alone; your needs are valid
49:02 — Has this journey brought the family closer?
51:09 — Eva’s tip: journaling to feel heard and remember what matters
51:53 — Outro & how to share the episode
🎯Why Listen to This Episode?
Actionable for home & school: Concrete language swaps and classroom accommodations you can try tomorrow.
Lived experience: Hear directly from a neurodivergent teen on what helps — and what harms.
For the whole support circle: Parents, teachers and carers get aligned around connection-first support that improves behaviour, learning and wellbeing.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Why “Attention Seeking” Is Really Connection Seeking

In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker dismantles one of the most damaging labels we use in care,
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why “attention seeking” is misunderstood01:18 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK01:49 – The science of attention as survival03:29 – How labels like “attention seeking” damage relationships05:28 – Attachment, trust, and why connection reduces anxiety07:19 – Everyday examples: when being ignored hurts more than being told off08:41 – Reframing: from attention seeking to connection seeking09:51 – Proactive strategies: predictability and scheduled connection10:30 – Real-world case study: harmful vs. helpful staff responses12:08 – Connect before you correct: practical scripts to use13:19 – Teaching adaptive ways to ask for attention14:18 – Meeting needs isn’t “rewarding bad behaviour” — it’s removing the reason for it15:24 – Building independence through secure attachment16:16 – Final challenge: reframe “attention seeking” for one week and notice the change
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is for anyone who has ever rolled their eyes at “attention seeking behaviour” — and wants to understand the truth behind it. Parents will gain tools to respond to their children with empathy. Teachers will discover proactive strategies to reduce classroom disruptions. Carers will learn how connection can de-escalate distress and build trust. Instead of seeing behaviour as a problem, you’ll leave with the mindset and tools to see it as communication.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
 

Living with Young Onset Dementia: Karen Thomas on Change & Care

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Karen Thomas, Head of Young Onset at Dementia Forward. Karen shares her journey from volunteer to shaping specialist services that meet the unique needs of people diagnosed under 65. Together, they explore the realities of young onset dementia—from identity and employment struggles to financial challenges, family dynamics, and the living loss carers face daily.
Karen also introduces the You and Me campaign, the Young Onset Dementia Awareness Day, and the upcoming 2025 national conference designed to bring professionals, carers, and families together to change systems and perceptions. This is a powerful, practical, and deeply human conversation that sheds light on a misunderstood condition.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
The Able to Care Podcast is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK – the UK’s number one carers card.
For less than the price of a box of chocolates a year, carers can access:
An official ID card with emergency information
Discounts on gyms, days out, tech, clothing, glasses & more
A wellbeing hub and Carers Circle tool
A supportive community through their app
👉 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Dementia Forward – dementiaforward.org.uk
You and Me Campaign & Awareness Day – YouTube: You and Me Song (insert link once confirmed)
Young Onset Dementia Conference – October 14, 2025 – Conference Info
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠 Three Key Messages
Young onset dementia is different – People diagnosed under 65 face unique challenges with identity, finances, and family roles that require tailored support.
Community and creativity matter – From outward-bound groups to music, poetry, and campaigns, connection and self-expression are vital for wellbeing.
Awareness creates change – Recognition, coding in the healthcare system, and workplace understanding can transform lives and reduce isolation.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK01:48 – Introducing Karen Thomas & her journey into dementia care04:59 – What young onset dementia is and why it’s different07:47 – Identity, work, and family challenges10:09 – The impact of friendships fading and social isolation13:03 – The courage and resilience of families14:22 – Creating Time Out Together groups and filling service gaps18:28 – Long diagnosis delays and systemic challenges22:28 – Dementia Forward’s three-level approach: individual, community, national26:38 – The You and Me campaign and Young Onset Dementia Awareness Day29:21 – The upcoming 2025 national conference34:05 – What ideal support and provisions should look like36:00 – Tackling myths, stigma, and workplace discrimination43:45 – Person-centred vs. people-centred care: why it matters45:21 – Building training to change professional practice49:55 – A heartbreaking but hopeful family story55:00 – How communities can support people with young onset dementia
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode
This episode is essential listening for carers, teachers, health professionals, and families seeking to better understand young onset dementia. Karen Thomas shares inspiring stories, systemic challenges, and hopeful initiatives that prove life with young onset dementia can still be rich, meaningful, and connected. You’ll come away with a deeper awareness, practical insights, and clear ways to support both individuals and carers.
Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Why “Calm Down” Backfires — And What to Say Instead

In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker takes on one of the most common — and most counterproductive — phrases in behaviour support: Calm down. Drawing from neuroscience, trauma theory, and decades of behaviour management experience, Andy explains why these two words can actually escalate situations rather than resolve them. You’ll learn why regulation always beats control, how your body language can make or break de-escalation, and exactly what to say (and do) instead when emotions run high — whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or professional working with vulnerable people.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Dr Bruce Perry — Neuroscience of Trauma
Stephen Porges — Polyvagal Theory
🧠 Three Key Messages
Regulation before instruction — A dysregulated brain can’t process logic, consequences, or even well-meant advice.
Your calm is contagious — Non-verbal cues like tone and posture often speak louder than words in de-escalation.
Replace “Calm down” with collaboration — Phrases like “Let’s sit down and talk” or “Walk me through what’s happening” lower emotional intensity while preserving trust.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 — Why “Calm down” fails and what’s happening in the brain02:21 — The science of emotional regulation & fight-flight-freeze05:14 — Why trust changes how people respond06:22 — Body language, tone, and avoiding escalation triggers09:18 — Giving choices & prompting calming behaviours10:41 — Role-modelling calm and “putting the fire out” first11:59 — Why regulation isn’t a reward — and why that matters13:11 — Practical language swaps that actually work
Why Listen to This Episode
If you’ve ever tried to defuse a heated moment with “Calm down” and watched it backfire, this episode is for you. Whether you work in education, care, health, or simply want better conflict resolution skills at home, Andy gives you practical, research-driven strategies to help others regulate — without damaging relationships. It’s an essential listen for anyone who wants to turn tense situations into moments of connection and trust.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
 

Living Alongside Young People: Foster Care & Creative Healing

In this heartfelt and powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Helen Archer, a long-term foster carer, writer, and passionate advocate for care-experienced young people. With over 30 years in roles from nannying and social work to lecturing and recruiting foster carers, Helen brings deep lived experience and emotional insight into what it means to “live alongside” teenagers in care. She opens up about trauma-informed practice, the life-changing power of creative writing, and the unseen challenges of leaving care — known as the “care cliff.” Whether you’re a carer, teacher, social worker, or simply someone who believes in the power of compassion, this conversation will stay with you.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
The Able to Care Podcast is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK – the UK’s number one carers card.Founded by two best friends, Carers Card UK offers recognition, rewards, and community for paid and unpaid carers. For less than the price of a box of chocolates per year, you’ll unlock:
An official ID card
Access to emergency info
Discounts on gyms, days out, clothing, electrical goods & more
A wellbeing hub and Carers Circle toolOrder yours today: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Carers Card UK – carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
Helen Archer’s Books – Cookies and Oxygen Publishing
CLOSER – Care Leavers Ongoing Support and Resources (Hertfordshire initiative) – [Add link if available]
Andy Baker’s Book – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge – Order here
🧠 Three Key Messages
Living alongside, not above – Being truly present with young people in care means sharing the everyday moments, offering advocacy, and holding space during their hardest times.
Creativity heals – Writing and storytelling give young people a safe way to process trauma, reclaim their narrative, and explore identity.
The care cliff is real – Turning 18 can mean a sudden loss of support for care leavers; building networks and community events can be life-changing.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK02:05 – Helen’s career journey and why foster care is her calling06:13 – What “living alongside” young people really means11:10 – Creative writing as a therapeutic tool18:00 – Reading aloud and building attachment25:01 – Writing as self-care for carers29:35 – Advocating for young people leaving care & the “care cliff”41:10 – Founding CLOSER and supporting care leavers at Christmas45:06 – The rewards and challenges of fostering54:50 – The emotional resilience needed for the role57:20 – Why some placements need to change to help children thrive01:00:01 – Equipping future social workers with trauma awareness01:01:31 – Final reflections and call to action
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’ve ever wondered what it really means to be a foster carer, this episode is essential listening. Helen’s openness about the highs, lows, and deeply personal moments of fostering offers both inspiration and practical insight. You’ll learn about the transformative power of creativity, the importance of building long-term relationships, and the urgent need to better support care leavers. This is a conversation that challenges assumptions, fuels empathy, and calls for action.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Right, Wrong, or Just Misunderstood? A Trauma-Informed Look at Behaviour

In this solo episode, Andy Baker challenges one of the most common (and damaging) assumptions in behaviour support: “He knows better.” Drawing from a real-life situation involving a boy with ADHD, Andy explores the crucial difference between knowing right from wrong and being able to act on it in the moment – especially for neurodiverse or traumatised individuals.
Packed with real stories, reflective questions, and practical guidance for parents, carers, and teachers, this episode invites us to replace judgement with curiosity and see behaviour for what it really is – communication.
🙌 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Proud sponsor of the Able to Care podcast, Carers Card UK offers recognition, support, and real discounts for unpaid carers.🎁  Order your card today
National discounts on gyms, clothing, days out and more
A wellbeing hub and carers community
Emergency ID tools and Carers Circle
🧰 Resources & References:
The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
💡 Three Key Messages:
Perception is not deceptionChildren may express emotional truth even when facts are distorted. Dismissing this as lying can shut down empathy and connection.
Knowing isn’t the same as doingTrauma, ADHD, or emotional dysregulation can block access to knowledge in the heat of the moment. We don’t punish a dyslexic child for misspelling – so why punish emotional overwhelm?
Be a guide, not a judgeSupport means teaching, not shaming. When we ask, “What was the need behind that behaviour?”, we turn difficult moments into learning ones.
⏱️ Episode Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Right vs Wrong... or is it?01:00 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK02:00 – "He's just using it as an excuse" – the football example04:00 – Emotional truth vs factual accuracy05:30 – ADHD, time perception and heightened emotion07:00 – Understanding the lie: Is it a lie at all?08:30 – Emotional honesty and life experience10:00 – Punishment, fear, and why some kids learn to lie better11:00 – “Have I taught this in a way they can access when distressed?”13:00 – Pick your battles and reframe behaviour as unmet need14:30 – Regulation, curiosity, and modelling reflection16:00 – Final thoughts: Reflective practice over perfection
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
For parents who feel stuck between discipline and understanding
For carers supporting young people with ADHD, trauma, or neurodivergence
For teachers rethinking behaviour as more than a checklist of rights and wrongsThis episode will challenge your assumptions, offer new language, and give you practical tools to create safer, more reflective responses to behaviour that challenges.
📱 Listen & Connect:
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📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk