Able to Care

In this solo episode, behaviour specialist and author Andy Baker unpacks one of the most overlooked parts of behaviour support: what happens after the incident. Whether you’re working in a school, supporting adults in care, or navigating tough moments at home, the post-incident debrief is often where the real growth happens – yet most settings rush it, avoid it, or unintentionally turn it into another punishment.
Andy breaks down why restorative conversations fail when done too soon, too harshly, or with the wrong focus, and offers a simple, practical framework for debriefing that protects dignity, reduces shame, builds connection and genuinely improves future behaviour. This episode is essential listening for caregivers, parents, teachers, support workers and anyone navigating distress or dysregulation in others.
🧰 Resources Mentioned
Andy's Book – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That ChallengeA practical guide featuring the full Six-Stage TARGET Model and the PERFORM Debrief Framework.(Listeners are directed to the link in your episode description.)
Able Target System – Trauma-informed, restorative, person-centred behaviour support framework embedded throughout Andy’s training and consultancy.
🔑 Three Key Messages
Debriefing is learning, not punishment.If all we take from an incident is a report form and a bruise, we’ve wasted pain that could have become insight.
Restorative practice only works when shame is removed.When people feel heard, their brain reopens to learning. When they feel shamed, reflection shuts down.
Boundaries and humanity belong together.Restorative approaches don’t remove limits – they strengthen them by pairing accountability with connection.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why debriefing matters more than we thinkThe hidden stage most settings skip – and why outcomes suffer when they do.
00:24 – Where schools, care services and parents go wrongCommon mistakes: retraumatising conversations, shame responses, and “confession-based” debriefs.
01:14 – Learning from incidents: the fire analogyWhy incident forms aren’t enough without meaningful reflection.
02:23 – Why we avoid debriefsShame, fear of judgement, time pressures and the myth that “they won’t learn anyway”.
03:33 – Punishment vs restorative learningWhy consequences don’t automatically create insight.
04:12 – Supporting the adults tooThe emotional impact on staff and caregivers – and what reflective practice should include.
05:26 – The PERFORM Debrief ScriptA step-by-step walkthrough:
P – Prepare
E – Explore the story
R – Reflect on feelings and needs
F – Feedback on impact
O – Ownership through repair
R – Responsibility for next time
M – Map the future
08:53 – A real-life story: shouting match avoidedHow one parent transformed a tense evening into connection through the right questions.
10:18 – Why shouting never teaches what we think it doesFear creates compliance, not growth.
12:14 – The true purpose of restorative practiceConnection, rehearsal, emotional safety and future-proofing behaviour.
13:34 – Behaviour is like the weatherHow to become the “behaviour weatherman” through the TARGET model and emotional insight.
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode will help you if:
You want to repair relationships after meltdowns, crises or confrontations.
You support children or adults who experience overwhelm or dysregulation.
You feel stuck repeating the same incidents without seeing change.
You want a script, not just theory.
You’re trying to build a culture of safety, dignity and accountability.
If you’re a parent, teacher, care worker, foster carer, SENCO, TA, support worker or leader in education or care, this episode will give you grounded, real-world tools to use today.
📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training
Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

What if preparing for the future wasn’t morbid… but empowering?In this episode, I sit down with Vicky Jones, founder of Ourlives, former social care director, mum of two, and someone who learned early in life that everything can change with a single knock at the door. Drawing on 25 years in health and social care, her own ADHD diagnosis, sobriety journey, and the sudden loss of her father, Vicky is on a mission to stop people waiting for crisis before taking action.
Whether you’re a paid carer, an unpaid family caregiver, a teacher supporting overwhelmed families, or a parent trying to balance your own future alongside your children’s, this conversation offers something essential: clarity, calm, and a roadmap for what so many people avoid thinking about until it’s too late.
We unpack why people discount their future selves, the emotional blocks that stop families having conversations they desperately need, and the key steps every adult should take long before aging, illness or caring responsibilities hit.
🌐 Resources & Links Mentioned
Ourlives – Future planning community & toolsWebsite: https://www.ourlivesapp.comLife Audit (free questionnaire): Add link once live
Connect with Vicky JonesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-jones-2906ab83Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourlivesappTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ourlivesappEmail: vicky@corvidaejones.com
💡 Three Key Messages
1. Preparing for the future isn’t pessimistic — it’s an act of self-care and family care.
Most stress in care comes from not having conversations early enough. LPAs, wills, emergency planning and simple life admin can drastically reduce burden later.
2. People don’t delay planning because they’re careless — they delay because it’s emotional.
Fear, denial, “it won’t happen to me”, and the belief that discussing illness tempts fate keep families stuck. Awareness and empathy with your future self break the cycle.
3. You can’t support others well if you're constantly firefighting.
Caregivers deserve tools, community, and a roadmap. Being prepared isn’t morbid—it's protective, empowering and allows you to respond rather than react.
⏱️ Timestamps / Chapter Guide
00:00 – 04:00 | The knock at the door that changed everythingVicky’s father dies at 44, creating a lifelong awareness that life can shift instantly.
04:00 – 10:00 | From frontline care worker to director — and still frustratedWhy the system can’t catch everyone, and why prevention matters more than ever.
10:00 – 17:00 | Why we avoid planning: fear, denial and “future self discounting”Understanding the psychology behind avoidance.
17:00 – 24:00 | The Ourlives Life Audit – a simple tool for complex futuresHow to assess your own future readiness across health, finance, risk and care.
24:00 – 32:00 | The biggest stressor families overlook: Lasting Power of AttorneyWhy next of kin means nothing legally and how failing to plan affects everyone.
32:00 – 40:00 | Conversations that families avoid — and how to finally start themHow to talk to partners, parents and adult children without overwhelm.
40:00 – 48:00 | The emotional load of caregiving and the importance of communityWhy carers need support systems, not just instructions.
48:00 – End | What success looks like for Ourlives and for societyA vision of empowered adults, prepared families and emotionally mature conversations.
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
You’re caring for someone now – or suspect you will be.
You’re juggling children, aging parents and work and feel spread thin.
You want to understand legal and practical steps (LPA, wills, planning) without the jargon.
You avoid thinking about the future because it triggers anxiety or uncertainty.
You want to protect your family from preventable stress later.
You support people professionally and want to understand the systemic issues behind crisis care.
This episode makes a difficult topic human, honest and genuinely hopeful. It gives you language for conversations, tools for planning, and empathy for your future self.
🔗 Connect With Able Training
Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ 
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast 

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “tried everything” with a child or adult showing distressing behaviour—this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker, behaviour specialist and author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge, breaks down the misunderstood world of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS).
With real-life examples and practical insights, Andy explores why PBS is more than a poster on the wall. It’s a mindset and a method—rooted in assessment, adaptation and empathy. Whether you’re a caregiver, teacher, or parent, this episode offers a compassionate and science-backed look at how to reduce distress, not just manage behaviour.
🧰 Resources Mentioned
📘 Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker: Buy on Amazon
🧠 The Able Target System: able-training.co.uk/ats
🖥️ Learn more about Able Training’s behaviour courses: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
🧩 Three Key Messages
PBS isn’t soft—it’s strategic. It’s about analysing the function of behaviour, not just punishing the form.
Every behaviour has a benefit. If you don’t see it, you’re not asking the right question yet.
Focus on skill-building, not shaming. Replacement behaviours work best when they meet the same need in a safer way.
⏱️ Chapters & Timestamps
00:00 – Behaviour vs Punishment: Why "we’ve tried everything" often isn’t true
00:42 – What is Positive Behaviour Support?: A real-world breakdown
01:08 – Integrating Trauma-Informed Practice: Going beyond the behaviour
02:01 – The 6-Stage TARGET Model: Andy’s unique approach to PBS
03:43 – Real-World Example: Head-Scratcher Strategy
06:19 – Skill-Building vs Compliance: Teaching safer ways to meet needs
07:42 – Autonomy and the Competing Pathway
08:29 – Why PBS Often Fails (and how to fix it)
10:21 – Book Excerpt: Weathering Behaviour with Insight
🤔 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’re a parent or carer constantly firefighting distress without long-term change
If you’re a teacher struggling to apply behaviour policies to neurodiverse students
If you want a clear, compassionate alternative to sanctions, shame, and suppressionThis episode offers tools you can start using today—rooted in neuroscience, not guesswork.
🔗 Connect with Us
🌐 Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: Able Training
📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker
 

In this deeply moving and often joyful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by Peter Berry, who lives with Alzheimer’s, and Deb Bunt, author, counsellor and Peter’s close friend. Together, they explore what it truly means to live well with dementia — not through clinical labels or deficits, but through friendship, dignity, purpose and shared humanity.
This conversation will resonate strongly with family carers, professional caregivers, teachers and anyone supporting someone with additional needs, as it challenges common assumptions about memory, identity and “loss”. Peter and Deb share honest reflections on diagnosis, stigma, trust, cycling challenges, writing together, and the idea of being an “external memory” — all grounded in a relationship that prioritises connection over care and moments over memories.
⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps)
00:01 – Living with a dementia diagnosis: shame, silence and the turning point
05:30 – Purpose, advocacy and planting a new future
06:30 – Not being defined by dementia
08:45 – Dignity, stigma and the “shabby coat” metaphor
13:50 – Living in the moment and finding joy
17:10 – Metaphors, meaning and communicating the unsayable
19:20 – Cycling, challenge and staying active
25:50 – Life after diagnosis: what is still possible
33:15 – “External memory”, trust and friendship
41:45 – Making moments, not memories
47:00 – Support versus care and mutual relationships
56:05 – Messages for those newly diagnosed or supporting someone
59:05 – Books, advocacy and what comes next
💡 Three Key Messages from This Episode
Dementia does not erase identityPeter is not “a person with dementia” — he is Peter. Diagnosis may change memory, but it does not remove personality, humour, values or worth.
Dignity is shaped by how we respondAs Peter powerfully explains, dignity isn’t taken by dementia itself, but by how others react to the label. Compassionate responses preserve humanity.
Moments matter more than memoriesYou may not be able to create lasting memories — but you can always create meaningful moments. Joy exists in the here and now.
📚 Resources Mentioned in the Episode
Slow Puncture – Living Well with DementiaAvailable in print, Kindle and audiobook
Walk with Me – Musings Through the Dementia Fog
Patching the Puncture – Continuing to Live Well with Dementia (Released February 2026)👉 Pre-order: https://bookguild.co.uk/bookshop/memoir/patching-the-puncture
🌐 Peter & Deb’s website and media appearances: https://www.peter-berry.com
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you support someone living with dementia — professionally or personally — this episode offers hope, clarity and a reframe. You’ll gain:
A deeper understanding of memory, identity and emotional connection
Practical insights into supporting someone without diminishing them
Reassurance that life, joy and purpose do not end with diagnosis
A reminder that friendship, humour and dignity still matter deeply
This is not a conversation about “managing dementia” — it’s about being human together.
🔗 Connect with Our Guests
Deb Bunt – Author & AdvocateLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bunt-ab247524/Instagram: @deb.buntTwitter/X: @debbunt
Peter Berry – Living with Alzheimer’sFacebook: Peter Berry Living with Alzheimer’sWebsite & media: https://www.peter-berry.com
🌍 Able to Care – Links & Social Media
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: Able Training📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker
 

Why trauma-informed practice isn’t soft — it’s smart, strategic, and essential for real behavioural change.
In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker unpacks a powerful mindset shift: what if “won’t behave” is really “can’t cope”? With relatable examples from schools, care settings and families, Andy explores how trauma impacts the nervous system, why traditional discipline strategies often backfire, and how a more compassionate, strategic approach creates better outcomes for everyone. If you support children or adults with complex needs, this episode offers practical insights to rethink behaviour, build connection, and respond with clarity—not just consequences.
📚 Resources Mentioned
Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy BakerOrder now on Amazon UK
Able Training – Trauma and Attachment Courseshttps://www.able-training.co.uk
💡 Three Key Messages
Behaviour is Communication: What looks like defiance is often the nervous system protecting itself.
Language and Goals Matter: Swap “What’s wrong with you?” for “What happened to you?” and “Compliance” for “Safety.”
Connection Before Correction: Build trust and co-regulation before expecting behavioural change.
⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters
00:00 – Why trauma isn’t a behaviour problem00:57 – The story of Ryan: behaviour in context03:01 – Understanding fight, flight, freeze and fawn04:49 – The brain’s alarm system and trauma response07:35 – The behaviours we misinterpret: defiance, shutdown, hyperactivity08:58 – Shame, punishment, and internalised beliefs09:18 – Language swap: from blame to curiosity10:05 – Goal swap: from control to safety11:00 – Strategy swap: from punishment to teaching regulation12:03 – The golden question: “What are you trying to protect right now?”
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode
Whether you're a teacher facing ‘challenging’ behaviour in the classroom, a foster carer navigating emotional outbursts, or a support worker helping someone who keeps shutting down—this episode reframes what behaviour really means. Learn how trauma impacts the body and brain, and why responding with curiosity and connection changes everything.
🔗 Connect with Us
🌐 Website & Podcast Hub
📸 Instagram - @AbleTraining
💼 LinkedIn - Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast

What happens when the person you once cared for… becomes the person you are?
In this deeply moving and insightful episode of the Able to Care podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Michael Booth – dementia educator, author, and advocate – who brings a rare dual perspective to the conversation. Michael first cared for his mother, Christine, through young onset dementia. Then, just months after she passed away, he received the same diagnosis himself, at just 46 years old.
Now 51, Michael is defying expectations. He’s speaking out, mentoring others, and sharing his powerful message: dementia is not the end. This conversation challenges misconceptions about identity, memory, and diagnosis – and offers practical guidance for anyone supporting a loved one with dementia.
If you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode will help you better understand distress behaviours, communication, and how to stay present when everything feels uncertain.
📚 Resources Mentioned
📖 Dementia: You Are Not Alone by Michael Booth – Order on Amazon
🏥 Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Trust – Website
🌐 Able Training Podcast Archive – able-training.co.uk/podcast
💬 Three Key Messages
Dementia is not the end – A diagnosis does not erase who someone is.
Behaviour is communication – Even ‘aggression’ often signals distress, confusion, or unmet need.
Perspective matters – Understanding dementia through both the eyes of a carer and the person living with it changes everything.
⏱️ Timestamps & Chapters
00:00 – What if the person you cared for became you?
03:00 – What it feels like to live with dementia day to day
06:20 – Lessons from caring for his mum Christine
10:40 – Receiving his own diagnosis at 46
17:00 – What people get wrong about identity and dementia
22:00 – Can you still enjoy life after a dementia diagnosis?
26:00 – What really helps on a good day
30:00 – Writing Dementia: You Are Not Alone
36:00 – How services need to change
50:00 – If you’ve just had a diagnosis: Michael’s message to you
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
Gain insight into young onset dementia from both carer and lived experience
Understand how language, environment, and expectations shape support
Learn how to build emotional safety when words are lost but feelings remain
Be inspired by Michael’s resilience, clarity, and practical wisdom
This is a must-listen for anyone navigating dementia – professionally or personally.
🔗 Connect with Michael Booth
📘 Dementia: You Are Not Alone – Buy on Amazon
💼 Michael Booth on LinkedIn
🔗 Connect with Able Training & Podcast
🌐 Website & Podcast Hub
📸 Instagram - @AbleTraining
💼 LinkedIn - Able Training

If you’ve ever supported someone living with dementia and been faced with shouting, swearing, hitting, or refusal of care, this episode is for you.
In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks one of the most misunderstood areas of dementia care: behaviour that looks aggressive but is almost always communication driven by distress. Drawing on years of experience in behaviour support, Andy helps caregivers, teachers, and parents move away from labels like “challenging” or “difficult” and instead understand what the behaviour is trying to say.
You’ll learn why dementia affects far more than memory, how fear, pain, confusion, trauma, overstimulation, and even poor care practice can drive behaviour — and most importantly, what to do in the moment. Andy shares a simple, practical three‑step response framework and language you can use immediately to de‑escalate situations while protecting your own wellbeing.
This episode is especially valuable for anyone feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure whether they’re “handling things right”.
⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps)
00:00 – Aggression or communication? Reframing behaviour in dementia00:49 – Why dementia affects personality, perception, and processing01:10 – Why behaviour becomes the fastest communication channel02:22 – Fight, flight, and the safety of saying “no”03:30 – From “challenging behaviour” to “distress behaviour”04:19 – Hidden drivers: pain, fear, trauma, overstimulation, under‑stimulation05:12 – When behaviour isn’t dementia — it’s poor care06:07 – A simple 3‑step response framework06:29 – Step 1: Pause, protect, and regulate yourself06:58 – Step 2: Scan for unmet needs (HELP model)07:31 – Step 3: Adjust, connect, and reduce distress08:13 – What to say when someone is frightened or overwhelmed09:05 – The HEART approach: Hear, Empathise, Align, Reassure, Transition10:26 – Why “calm down” doesn’t work10:51 – Caregiver regulation and burnout11:52 – The core message: behaviour is communication12:22 – Resource: Targeting the Positive
🧩 Three Key Takeaways
Aggression in dementia is rarely intentionalWhat looks like defiance or hostility is often a terrified brain trying to cope with confusion, pain, or fear.
Behaviour makes sense when you understand the contextDistress behaviours are often driven by unmet physical, emotional, cognitive, or environmental needs — not the diagnosis itself.
You can’t calm someone else if you’re dysregulatedSupporting distress starts with your own regulation. Compassionate care requires supported carers.
🛠️ Resources Mentioned
Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy BakerA practical, person‑centred guide to understanding and responding to distressed and dysregulated behaviour across dementia, trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health.Click here to find out more
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
You’re supporting someone with dementia and struggling with aggression, refusal, or distress
You want practical language and tools, not theory
You’re tired of feeling blamed, judged, or unsure
You want to support others without losing yourself
You believe behaviour has meaning — and want to understand it better
This episode offers reassurance, clarity, and immediately usable strategies grounded in empathy and realism.
🔗 Connect with Able
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: Able Training

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy is joined by Gary Derbyshire, live‑in care business owner and care advocate, for an honest and practical conversation about what live‑in care really looks like in everyday life.
Together, they unpack how live‑in care differs from domiciliary care and residential care homes, why it can be a powerful option for people living with dementia, learning difficulties, anxiety, or complex needs, and how it can dramatically reduce stress and burnout for unpaid family carers.
This episode is especially relevant for parents, teachers, and caregivers who are supporting someone vulnerable, feeling overwhelmed, or unsure what “the next step” should be. Gary shares real examples, clears up common fears, and explains how joined‑up, preventative support can protect dignity, independence, and wellbeing — for everyone involved.
🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
What live‑in care actually is — explained in clear, human terms
How live‑in care compares to domiciliary care and residential care homes
Why familiarity, routine, and one‑to‑one support matter so much for people with dementia
How live‑in care can reduce guilt, burnout, and anxiety for unpaid carers
What families should ask before choosing any care provider
How joined‑up working with charities, NHS teams, and local services improves outcomes
⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps)
00:01 – What is live‑in care? A simple explanation
03:07 – Live‑in care vs domiciliary care vs care homes
08:00 – Who live‑in care is (and isn’t) suitable for
11:24 – Cost, value, and funding options explained
17:21 – Common fears families have about live‑in care
27:14 – Practical first steps for families feeling overwhelmed
29:16 – What a live‑in carer actually does day‑to‑day
36:50 – Joined‑up care: working with NHS, charities, and community services
45:31 – Guilt, burnout, and becoming a daughter again (not just a carer)
48:26 – Questions families should ask any care provider
57:39 – Final takeaway: when to seriously consider live‑in care
🔑 Three Key Messages
Live‑in care is about dignity, not dependencyStaying at home, keeping routines, pets, relationships, and identity intact can dramatically improve emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Prevention matters more than crisis responseEarly support can prevent falls, hospital admissions, UTIs, medication errors, and carer burnout — protecting everyone long‑term.
Good care supports the whole family, not just the individualLive‑in care can help unpaid carers step out of constant responsibility and back into meaningful relationships.
📌 Resources & Organisations Mentioned
Promedica24 Live‑in Care👉 https://www.promedica24careathome.co.uk
Dementia Forward👉 https://www.dementiaforward.org.uk
Lancashire Mind👉 https://www.lancashiremind.org.uk
Care Quality Commission (CQC)👉 https://www.cqc.org.uk
Homecare.co.uk (provider reviews)👉 https://www.homecare.co.uk
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’re:
Supporting a loved one with dementia, learning difficulties, or increasing vulnerability
Feeling exhausted, guilty, or unsure how long you can keep going
A professional wanting a clearer understanding of care pathways
Trying to make sense of confusing care options
…this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and realistic alternatives, without pressure or sales talk.
🤝 About the Guest
Gary Derbyshire runs Promedica24, delivering live‑in care across Lancashire, Yorkshire, and Cumbria.
With a background in NHS work, care advocacy, and community collaboration, Gary supports families navigating dementia, learning difficulties, and complex needs. He is known for his calm, empathetic approach and for building joined‑up support networks with organisations such as Dementia Forward, Lancashire Mind, and local services.
🔗 Connect With Gary
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-derbyshire-5b484240/
Instagram: @derbyshire.gary
Website: https://www.promedica24careathome.co.uk
🔗 Connect With Able
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: Ablle-training.co.uk

Why “just do as you’re told” doesn’t work — and what to do instead.
If you're a caregiver, teacher or parent exhausted by difficult behaviour, this episode is for you.
In this solo episode, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, author, and trainer) challenges the outdated scripts we've inherited around control, punishment, and compliance — and shares a powerful mindset shift that actually works.
From his own story of being mugged at knifepoint to practical insights for managing aggression, defiance, or withdrawal, Andy explores how a person-centred, trauma-informed approach to behaviour support can improve outcomes for everyone — including you.
Whether you work in a care home, a classroom or your own home, this episode helps you move from reactivity to reflection, from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what’s going on for you?”
📚 Resources Mentioned:
Book: Targeting the Positive: With Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker
Able Training: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
💡 Three Key Messages:
Challenging behaviour is subjective – what we find difficult often says more about us than the person we’re supporting.
Old logic harms connection – the “do as you’re told” mindset leads to fear, shutdown or escalation.
New logic builds trust – curiosity, empathy, and focusing on needs (not punishment) create better outcomes for everyone.
⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters):
00:00 – The problem with “just being difficult”
01:20 – Andy’s story: being mugged, fear, and the start of a career in behaviour
02:00 – What does “challenging behaviour” actually mean?
04:00 – Subjectivity, values, and why we label behaviour
06:00 – Task-focused vs. person-centred: why we get stuck
07:30 – The pause: learning to respond, not react
09:00 – From punishment to curiosity: the ‘new logic’ in behaviour
11:00 – The danger of “should” and “must” scripts
12:00 – Maladaptive vs. disliked behaviour
13:00 – The cultural lens: are our expectations even right?
14:00 – 3 mindset shifts to start using tomorrow
15:10 – How “Targeting the Positive” can help you become the weatherman of behaviour
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’ve ever thought “why won’t they just behave?” — you’re not alone. This episode gives you a practical, mindset-shifting framework that moves beyond punishment and helps you better support children, adults, or anyone with distressed or confusing behaviour. It’s compassionate, empowering, and refreshingly honest.
🔗 Stay Connected:📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleTraining

What happens when a care package is approved... but there's no home for it to go into?
In this vital conversation, I’m joined by Ben Gyles, co-founder of Urban Nest Property Solutions and The Housing Partnership Forum, to tackle the growing gap between housing and care. Ben shares his personal connection to council housing, his work supporting care providers and councils, and how housing shortages and visa changes are creating a chokehold on care delivery across the UK.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher or caregiver, this episode sheds light on how stable, trauma-informed housing isn’t just about bricks and mortar – it’s about creating safety, healing and dignity for those we support.
🔑 Three Key Messages:
Care Needs a Roof: Housing is not just a backdrop to care delivery – it’s a fundamental part of it. Without suitable homes, care packages are delayed, disjointed or completely unworkable.
The System is Reacting, Not Planning: Providers, councils, and landlords are trapped in reactive firefighting. We need better communication, forward planning and strategic housing pipelines to meet future care needs.
Homes Can Heal: Trauma-informed environments matter. With insight from his partner, therapist Silvia Costa, Ben shares how thoughtful design can support mental wellbeing and long-term recovery.
⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters):
00:00 – What happens when care is approved, but there's nowhere to go?
02:00 – Delayed discharge and the £2bn cost of nowhere-to-go patients
05:00 – The impact of housing shortages on small care providers
10:00 – The missing link: communication breakdown between councils, landlords and providers
20:00 – How Urban Nest is bridging the gap with property pipelines
25:00 – Visa changes, staff shortages and housing as recruitment infrastructure
30:00 – How trauma-informed design transforms housing into healing
35:00 – Advice for caregivers and advocates struggling with housing support
40:00 – Behaviour, stability and the ripple effect of insecure housing on families and schools
45:00 – What councils and government could change today
50:00 – The Housing Partnership Forum – a new space for collaboration
📚 Resources Mentioned:
The Housing Partnership Forum: Join on LinkedIn
Ben & Silvia on LinkedIn: Ben and Silvia
Your Local Guardian Article: Urban Nest launched to save Croydon's forgotten homes
Targeting the Positive (Book) by Andy Baker: Find it on Amazon
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you work in care, education or support families in any way, this episode will challenge how you think about housing. Ben Gyles offers a fresh, solutions-focused perspective on how to overcome housing barriers in care – from planning better homes to understanding trauma-informed design. It’s a conversation packed with heart, real-world examples, and practical hope.
🔗 Connect with Us:
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website:AbleTraining