Able to Care

Fixing School Systems: From Trauma to True Inclusion

How can schools go beyond buzzwords and box-ticking exercises to truly support mental health, inclusion, and safeguarding? In this insightful episode of the Able to Care podcast, host Andy Baker talks with Dr. Adam McCartney — educational psychologist and national training lead — about how to build school systems that don’t just function, but truly care.
From shifting away from outcome-obsessed models to embedding psychologically informed, trauma-responsive practices, Adam shares his expertise on transforming education into a genuinely nurturing environment. This is a must-listen for parents, teachers, carers, and education leaders seeking meaningful change in how we support children and young people.
🎙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
The Able to Care podcast is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK — the UK’s number one carers discount and recognition card. Started by two best friends to help carers feel valued, it offers:
✅ An emergency ID card✅ Access to a wellbeing hub✅ A carers circle support tool✅ Community through their dedicated app✅ Exclusive discounts on essentials, days out, gym memberships, and more
 🎟️ Order your card today
📚 Resources Mentioned
Dr. Adam McCartney’s website: rmcpsychologicalservices.com
Connect with Adam on LinkedIn: Dr. Adam McCartney on LinkedIn (search his name directly)
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🔑 Three Key Messages
1️⃣ Schools need to shift from a focus on outcomes to a focus on wellbeing, belonging, and psychological safety.2️⃣ Collaborative, reflective practice — including supervision for teachers — is vital for sustainable systems change.3️⃣ Parents and schools must build trusting, validating partnerships to improve outcomes for children with additional needs.
⏰ Episode Chapters
00:00 — Introduction: Moving beyond box-ticking00:02 — Meet Dr Adam McCartney and his mission00:06 — Why education needs a nurturing rethink00:15 — Breaking down trauma-informed and relational practice00:27 — The challenge of staff roles, collaboration, and defensiveness00:39 — Building psychologically informed, restorative systems00:51 — Parental partnerships and advocating for change00:53 — Final reflections and how to connect with Dr Adam
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
✅ Gain actionable insights on transforming schools beyond buzzwords✅ Learn practical strategies for trauma-responsive, relational, and psychologically informed systems✅ Hear a national expert’s take on the future of safeguarding, mental health, and inclusion✅ Feel inspired to advocate for change in your school, community, or caregiving role
If you’re a teacher, parent, carer, or education leader, this episode will challenge you to think bigger — and act braver — about supporting our young people.
🔗 Connect with us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
 

Stop Punishing, Start Understanding: A Kinder Way to Manage Behaviour

Welcome to another solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, hosted by Andy Baker. In this episode, we challenge the traditional mindset of “consequences” — a word that’s too often just punishment dressed up. Instead, Andy invites parents, carers, and teachers to explore purpose-driven, compassionate approaches to managing behaviour. Backed by restorative practices and neuroscience, this episode breaks down why connection, understanding, and growth matter far more than simply controlling behaviour.
Whether you’re working with children in a school, supporting adults in care, or raising your own family, this episode will give you practical, thought-provoking strategies to replace punishment with positive change.
👥 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK, the UK’s number one carers card. Founded by two best friends on a mission to give carers better recognition, Carers Card UK offers:
✅ A trusted ID card with emergency information✅ Huge discounts on everything from gym memberships to days out✅ Access to a wellbeing hub and Carers Circle✅ Community support via their app✅ All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year!
👉  Order your card today
🛠️ Resources Mentioned
Andy’s book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Carers Card UK — official site
More tools, resources and podcast links: abletocarepodcast.co.uk
⭐ Three Key Messages
1️⃣ Consequences are not learning tools — punishment might stop behaviour short-term, but it rarely helps people grow.2️⃣ Connection before correction — trust and understanding build long-lasting change.3️⃣ Ask “why” instead of “how to stop” — curiosity helps unlock more positive and adaptive behaviour patterns.
⏰ Timestamps (Chapters)
00:00 — The myth of consequences00:22 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK01:42 — Purpose over punishment03:10 — Restorative practices and neuroscience05:05 — Positive vs negative punishment explained08:00 — Connect before you correct10:00 — Final reflections on building trust13:45 — Like, comment, and share
🎧 Why Listen?
If you’re a parent, teacher, or carer who wants to move away from outdated, controlling approaches to behaviour, this episode will empower you with research-backed strategies to create positive change. Andy’s insights will challenge how you think about “discipline” and offer a framework to support healthier, happier, and more resilient relationships.
🌐 Connect With Us
👉 Instagram: @AbleTraining👉LinkedIn: Able Training👉 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast👉 Website: AbleHub.uk

Parent & Child Fostering: Keeping Families Together

In this episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by experienced foster carer Kaye Beatty, who has dedicated over 14 years to fostering, including seven transformative parent and child placements. Together, they unpack the unique challenges and rewards of supporting not only children, but parents learning to care for their babies — a fostering path that helps keep families together whenever possible.
From the emotional highs of seeing parents thrive, to the difficult decisions when placements break down, this conversation gives a raw, honest, and deeply human insight into one of the most impactful forms of foster care.
🙌 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
We’re proud to be sponsored by Carers Card UK, the UK’s number one carers card. Founded by two friends who wanted to give carers the recognition and support they deserve, Carers Card UK offers:
✅ An ID card with emergency information✅ Access to a wellbeing hub and Carers Circle tool✅ A community through their app✅ Discounts on everyday essentials — from days out to gym memberships
Take care of yourself while you care for others — order yours today using our promo link:👉  🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Carers Card UK:  🎟️ Order your card today
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
💡 Three Key Messages
1️⃣ Parent and child placements give families a vital chance to stay together, but require patience, empathy, and consistent boundaries.
2️⃣ Foster carers in these roles are not just providing a safe home, but also coaching, mentoring, and supporting parents to build confidence and skills.
3️⃣ With the right training, supervision, and agency support, more foster carers could help meet the urgent need for parent and child placements.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 — Introduction to Carers Card UK and their mission01:48 — Welcome to the podcast & introduction to Kaye Beatty02:15 — What are parent and child placements?06:00 — How Kaye began fostering15:00 — The unique challenges of supporting parents22:00 — Emotional highs and lows of placements32:00 — Differences between traditional fostering and parent/child placements44:00 — Reflections on personal growth and seeing parents thrive51:00 — Why more parent and child foster carers are needed56:00 — Final thoughts and takeaways
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you’ve ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of parent and child foster care, this conversation will open your eyes. Hear real-life stories of resilience, challenge, and transformation, and learn how foster carers can empower parents to give their children the best start in life. Whether you’re a social worker, carer, educator, or simply curious about fostering, this episode is a must-listen.
🌐 Connect With Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
👉 If you found this episode valuable, please like, comment, and share to help us reach more carers and families who might benefit.

Praise or Pressure? Helping Kids Build Resilience

What if the praise we give children—meant to build them up—is quietly boxing them in? In this thought-provoking short episode, Andy Baker explores The Jessica Effect, inspired by a story in his book Targeting the Positive. We delve into the hidden impact of praise tied to identity, the psychological roots of fixed vs. growth mindset, and how we can better support resilience in children and adults alike.
If you’ve ever told a child “you’re so clever” or “you’re such a good boy/girl,” this episode will offer powerful insights into why that might be doing more harm than good—and how we can reframe praise to empower rather than limit.
🛍️ Proudly Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Thousands of discounts, a wellbeing hub, emergency ID card features, and a growing community of carers—all for less than a box of chocolates a year.🎁 Use our link to get yours today:  🎟️ Order your card today
🧰 Resources Mentioned
Carol Dweck’s Work on Growth MindsetLearn more: https://mindsetonline.com
Andy’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge📘 Buy it on Amazon
🧠 Three Key Takeaways
1️⃣ Praise Shapes IdentityLabelling children as “smart” or “kind” can lock them into fixed roles that create fear around failure or change.
2️⃣ Process Over PersonShift from praising outcomes or traits to praising effort, persistence, and strategies—this builds genuine resilience.
3️⃣ Mindset MattersPraising for identity reinforces a fixed mindset. Praising for effort promotes growth, adaptability, and long-term motivation.
⏱️ Episode Timestamps / Chapters
00:00 – Opening: The power (and pitfalls) of praise
00:55 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
02:00 – Introducing “The Jessica Effect”
02:48 – Why being called “smart” backfires
03:57 – The danger of identity-based praise
04:53 – Independence, strength & burnout: Adult examples
06:07 – What to do instead: Practical praise swaps
07:12 – The science: Dweck’s research & mindset theory
08:08 – Specific praise that builds behaviour, not ego
09:04 – Why generic praise can be harmful in care settings
11:06 – Final thoughts and call to action
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you support children—or anyone, really—this episode offers an essential mindset shift. You'll learn:
Why praise can unintentionally create pressure and fear of failure
How to make your words more meaningful and supportive
The science behind mindset, motivation, and self-worthPerfect for parents, foster carers, teachers, support workers, and anyone in a caregiving or developmental role.
🔗 Follow & Connect
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Fostering Growth: Mindset Shifts That Change Lives

In this powerful and deeply moving episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Ousha Demello—a bestselling author, international speaker, and experienced foster carer. Together, they explore how fostering, trauma, and mindset intersect to shape the future of young people. Ousha shares her personal story of overcoming domestic abuse, the transformative impact of mindset, and practical strategies she uses daily to support self-worth, self-esteem, and growth in the children she fosters.
Whether you're a parent, caregiver, teacher, or someone passionate about resilience and transformation—this episode is packed with inspiration, honesty, and actionable ideas.
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
If you've ever wondered how to build resilience in children, support healing after trauma, or shift your own mindset during tough times, Ousha's journey offers hope and clarity. You’ll discover how connection before correction, nurturing over control, and modelling the right mindset can make all the difference.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app. All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year.
🎟️ Order your card today
📚 Resources & Links Mentioned:
📖 Left in Peace Not Pieces by Ousha Demello – Amazon UK
📘 Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker – Order here
🧠 Influence by Robert Cialdini – Find on Amazon
🧭 Learn about the GPS mindset tool (Gratitude, Perspective, Service) from previous episodes
💡 Three Key Messages:
Mindset is a superpower – It's not what happens to us, but how we process it that shapes our story.
Connection before correction – Trust, love, and shared experiences are the foundations of positive change in children.
Language shapes reality – The words we use with others (and ourselves) can either build self-esteem or break it down.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps:
00:01:56 – Meet Ousha: From educator to foster carer
00:03:07 – Fostering, mindset & the invisible traumas children carry
00:06:03 – Domestic abuse and the mindset shift that changed everything
00:12:13 – Discovering purpose through mentorship & authorship
00:18:00 – Helping children reframe negative self-talk
00:24:03 – Language tips for caregivers: “I’m finding it difficult” vs “I can’t”
00:28:00 – Daily practices that reinforce growth mindset at home
00:32:00 – Cooking, play, and the power of everyday connection
00:36:00 – Why “because” changes everything – language that builds cooperation
00:42:00 – Self-care through communication & support systems
🔗 Stay Connected:
Follow Andy and the Able to Care Podcast:
💬 Instagram: @AbleTraining
💼 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
📺 YouTube: Able to Care
🌍Website: AbleHub.uk
📲 Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who believes in the power of care, connection, and growth.

Regression Is a Message: What’s the Child Really Telling You?

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker reframes a common concern faced by parents, teachers, and carers: regression. Whether you’re supporting a child, an adult with learning disabilities, or someone living with dementia, it can be heartbreaking and frustrating to watch progress unravel.
But what if that step back is actually a call for connection—not control? Andy explains the psychology behind regression and why understanding it as a signal of distress can lead to more compassionate, effective support.
💡 Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK
This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK – the UK’s #1 carers card offering support, recognition, and thousands of pounds worth of discounts for paid and unpaid carers.
✅ Save on gym memberships, clothing, glasses, days out and more✅ Access the Carers Circle, wellbeing hub, and community app✅ Carry a carer ID card with pride and purpose
👉  🎟️ Order your card today
📚 Resources & Mentions
🧠 Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🎓 Over 45 certified courses & exclusive content – Join AbleHub.uk
🛠️ Want behaviour support training for your team? –  Visit Able Training 
💬 3 Key Messages:
Regression is not rebellion. It's a safety signal, often triggered by overwhelm, trauma, or change.
All behaviour is communication. Ask what’s changed, rather than punish what you see.
Connection is the cure. A trusting relationship rebuilds confidence, regulation, and growth.
⏳ Timestamps – Episode Chapters:[00:00] – “He was doing so well…”: Recognising regression[00:46] – Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK[01:54] – Welcome & What Regression Really Means[03:33] – Real-World Example: Charlie and Alex[04:46] – Early Years, Learning Disability & Dementia Contexts[05:52] – The Brain Forest Analogy[07:42] – Behaviour as Communication: Ask what’s changed[08:47] – Why “You’re too old for this” harms, not helps[09:39] – Building Emotional Safety: Regression needs support[10:40] – Stability, Routines, and Rebuilding Trust[11:07] – Think Like They’re 3: Emotional age vs chronological age[12:27] – Suppression vs Self-Management[12:37] – Final Thoughts: Trust over punishment
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?If you’ve ever felt confused or frustrated when someone suddenly “slips backwards,” this episode will change your perspective. Learn why regression is rarely about manipulation and often about safety—and discover practical ways to support growth through compassion. Perfect for carers, educators, and parents who want to understand behaviour deeply and respond with empathy.
📲 Connect with Us!
Instagram: @AbleTrainingLinkedIn: Able TrainingTikTok: @AbleToCarePodcastWebsite: AbleHub.uk
🎙️ Subscribe, Share & Review!If this episode helped reframe your view on regression, please share it with a colleague or fellow caregiver. Your reviews and shares help us reach more people who care.

Dignity in Personal Care: Small Acts, Big Impact

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by care professional Nadine Sutton to explore one of the most personal, sensitive, and often overlooked areas of support: personal care and dignity. Together, they reflect on real-life experiences, the emotional weight of providing personal care, and what true dignity looks like in practice.
From missed moments of empathy to heartwarming stories of connection, this episode is a must-listen for anyone supporting others—whether you’re a parent, teacher, paid or unpaid carer.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year.
🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
 
💬 Key Messages:1️⃣ Dignity means inclusion. Personal care isn’t just a task—it’s a moment of connection. Include the person at every step.2️⃣ Culture matters. Care culture during the day and night must be consistent to protect dignity at all times.3️⃣ Speak up and educate. Poor practice is often about a lack of training, not bad intent. Education is key.
⏳ Timestamps / Episode Chapters:[00:00] – Real-world reflections: the emotional weight of personal care[01:48] – 💡 Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK[02:16] – Why dignity matters in personal care[05:59] – Language, inclusion, and treating people with humanity[09:13] – Care practice gone wrong: real stories of undignified moments[13:28] – Promoting dignity: small actions that make a big difference[17:10] – Engaging and empowering those receiving care[21:12] – The power of culture in care settings[24:56] – Final story: how one carer made someone feel truly human again[26:48] – Why every carer needs training, support, and understanding
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?Whether you're a professional carer, family caregiver, teacher supporting SEND pupils, or someone trying to do better for a loved one—this episode provides raw, relatable insight into how personal care should be delivered.You’ll walk away with stories that stick and tools to elevate the way you care.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

It’s Not Them, It’s You: The Secret to Calmer Parenting and Teaching

Have you ever overreacted to someone’s behaviour—and later realised it wasn’t really about them at all? In this powerful solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker introduces The 90% Rule: the idea that most of our emotional reactions are shaped by our own wiring, history, and unmet needs. Drawing from psychology, trauma theory, and real-life care scenarios, Andy explores how self-awareness is the key to better relationships, improved emotional regulation, and compassionate caregiving.
Whether you're supporting children, older adults, or navigating life as a parent, teacher, or carer—this episode gives you the tools to pause, reflect, and respond with insight instead of instinct.
🎯 Sponsored By: Carers Card UK
We’re proud to be sponsored by Carers Card UK. Whether you’re a paid or unpaid carer, you could be missing out on thousands in discounts on everyday essentials—from gyms to groceries. For less than the cost of a box of chocolates per year, access:
An emergency ID card
A wellbeing hub
The Carers Circle support tool
Exclusive discounts on leisure, clothing, glasses and more
✅ Claim your Carers Card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Book: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
CBT ABC Model by Albert Ellis
Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges
Andy’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Carers Card UK: https://carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare
🔑 Three Key Messages
90% of our emotional reactions are internal. Understanding our own history and beliefs helps reduce conflict and escalation in caregiving.
Emotional regulation is teachable. Techniques like pausing, breathing, and trigger journaling can help shift from reaction to reflection.
It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom. Recognising your own triggers allows you to model emotional intelligence for those you care for.
⏱️ Episode Chapters
00:00 – What is the 90% Rule?
02:00 – The science behind unconscious reactions
04:00 – CBT’s ABC Model explained
05:00 – Polyvagal theory & stress responses
06:00 – Real-life examples from care, teaching, and parenting
08:00 – Why pausing beats reacting
10:00 – Practical tools for reflection and self-regulation
12:00 – Modelling emotional intelligence & setting boundaries
13:00 – Reflective prompts for your own 90%
🎧 Why Listen?
If you’ve ever snapped, felt ashamed of your reactions, or wished you could better manage your emotions around those you support—this episode is for you. Andy offers down-to-earth guidance rooted in lived experience, behaviour theory, and practical psychology. Ideal for carers, educators, parents, and frontline workers who want to care with more awareness and less burnout.
🔗 Follow and Connect
Instagram: @AbleTraining
TikTok: @AbleToCare
LinkedIn: Andy Baker
Website: Able-Training

Trauma in School and at Home: What Every Teacher and Parent Should Know

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by childhood trauma expert Shahana Knight, founder of TPC Therapy and the visionary behind the Therapeutic Schools approach. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma affects learning, behaviour, and wellbeing—and why traditional classroom models often fall short.
Shahana shares her deeply personal story, how her father’s struggles with trauma inspired her work, and the evidence-backed changes schools can make to create therapeutic environments. From the power of play to the impact of overstimulation and digital overload, this episode is full of insights for educators, parents, and caregivers.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:
ID card with emergency info access
Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
TPC Therapy Website: www.tpctherapy.co.uk
Shahana Knight’s Book: Therapeutic Teaching
Therapeutic Classroom Tour (YouTube): Watch Here
The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators
Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠 Three Key Messages
Trauma Lives in the Body and the Classroom: Children with trauma often enter school in survival mode—traditional models miss this completely.
Environment Shapes Regulation: A therapeutic classroom isn't just pretty—it's scientifically designed to calm stress and promote emotional safety.
Adults Must Heal Too: You can't be truly trauma-informed without recognising and managing your own emotional triggers.
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Intro & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:00 – Meet Shahana Knight 04:00 – The Origin of Therapeutic Classrooms 09:00 – Trauma's Impact on Learning & Self-Regulation 15:00 – Tech Overload: Why Kids Are Always in Fight or Flight 21:00 – Parenting in Survival Mode 28:00 – Signs of Trauma in Schoolchildren 35:00 – What a Therapeutic Classroom Looks Like 45:00 – Autonomy, Motivation & Emotional Literacy 55:00 – The Role of Educators Beyond Academics 01:00:00 – What’s Next for TPC Therapy
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
Whether you’re a teacher, caregiver, parent, or school leader, this conversation is a masterclass in trauma-informed practice. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by a child’s behaviour and didn’t know where to start—this episode is for you. Learn how to see beyond the behaviour and create environments that heal, not harm.

Shame Doesn’t Teach: A Better Way for Parents, Teachers & Carers

In this powerful solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker explores why shame—while still commonly used to manage behaviour in homes, classrooms, and care settings—often does more harm than good. From outdated scripts to emotional reactions, we dive into how shame suppresses learning, damages trust, and diminishes self-esteem in children and adults alike.
Whether you’re a teacher, parent, or carer, this episode offers practical insights on how to shift away from shame-based responses and towards compassionate, constructive behaviour support.
💡 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK, the UK’s number one carers card offering discounts, support, and community for paid and unpaid carers.
✨ For less than the price of a box of chocolates a year, members get:✅ Discounts on gyms, days out, clothes, glasses & more✅ A wellbeing hub and the Carers Circle app✅ An ID card that unlocks emergency info and shows you care
👉 Get your Carers Card here:🔗 https://www.carerscarduk.co.uk/promocode/abletocare
🛠️ Resources Mentioned
📖 Targeting the Positive: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Supporting Challenging Behaviours by Andy Baker🔗 Buy the book
🎓 Need training for your team on trauma-informed practice and behaviour management?🔗 Able Training
🔑 Key Messages
Shame doesn’t teach — it suppresses: Labelling children or adults as “naughty” or “bad” can damage their self-esteem and block emotional growth.
Short-term compliance isn’t long-term learning: Shame may stop behaviour in the moment, but it doesn’t foster understanding, empathy, or reflection.
Teach through connection, not condemnation: Use natural consequences, curiosity, and reflection to guide behaviour positively and sustainably.
⏳ Timestamps (Chapters)
00:00 – Why calling a child “naughty” can be harmful01:11 – 🎧 Sponsor: Carers Card UK02:18 – The psychology of shame and learned helplessness03:48 – Real-world examples: classrooms, care homes, and parenting05:03 – The long-term damage of shame on self-esteem06:22 – Shame breeds secrecy, not growth07:02 – Shame breaks trust and emotional connection07:45 – Why shame persists and how it's emotionally reactive08:35 – Instant compliance vs. authentic behaviour change09:36 – Fight, flight, freeze: How shame becomes an emotional weapon10:40 – How to replace shame with restorative practice and empathy11:52 – Use natural consequences, not humiliation12:56 – Respond with curiosity, not condemnation13:50 – Repair and reflect after behaviour, not reprimand14:46 – The myth of “not enough discipline” and the call for connection15:40 – What kind of society are we really building with shame?
🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is a must-listen for:✔ Parents navigating challenging behaviour✔ Teachers balancing emotional needs and discipline in the classroom✔ Carers supporting individuals with emotional or behavioural distress
You’ll walk away with practical ways to support behaviour through empathy, growth mindset, and restorative connection—instead of outdated shame-based tools.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
🎧 If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review. Let’s create a world where behaviour is understood—not shamed.