Praise or Pressure? Helping Kids Build Resilience

What if the praise we give children—meant to build them up—is quietly boxing them in? In this thought-provoking short episode, Andy Baker explores The Jessica Effect, inspired by a story in his book Targeting the Positive. We delve into the hidden impact of praise tied to identity, the psychological roots of fixed vs. growth mindset, and how we can better support resilience in children and adults alike.

If you’ve ever told a child “you’re so clever” or “you’re such a good boy/girl,” this episode will offer powerful insights into why that might be doing more harm than good—and how we can reframe praise to empower rather than limit.

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🧰 Resources Mentioned

• Carol Dweck’s Work on Growth Mindset
  Learn more: https://mindsetonline.com

• Andy’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
  📘 Buy it on Amazon

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🧠 Three Key Takeaways

1️⃣ Praise Shapes Identity
Labelling children as “smart” or “kind” can lock them into fixed roles that create fear around failure or change.

2️⃣ Process Over Person
Shift from praising outcomes or traits to praising effort, persistence, and strategies—this builds genuine resilience.

3️⃣ Mindset Matters
Praising for identity reinforces a fixed mindset. Praising for effort promotes growth, adaptability, and long-term motivation.

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⏱️ Episode Timestamps / Chapters

• 00:00 – Opening: The power (and pitfalls) of praise

• 00:55 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 02:00 – Introducing “The Jessica Effect”

• 02:48 – Why being called “smart” backfires

• 03:57 – The danger of identity-based praise

• 04:53 – Independence, strength & burnout: Adult examples

• 06:07 – What to do instead: Practical praise swaps

• 07:12 – The science: Dweck’s research & mindset theory

• 08:08 – Specific praise that builds behaviour, not ego

• 09:04 – Why generic praise can be harmful in care settings

• 11:06 – Final thoughts and call to action

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🎧 Why Listen to This Episode?

If you support children—or anyone, really—this episode offers an essential mindset shift. You'll learn:

• Why praise can unintentionally create pressure and fear of failure

• How to make your words more meaningful and supportive

• The science behind mindset, motivation, and self-worth
  Perfect for parents, foster carers, teachers, support workers, and anyone in a caregiving or developmental role.

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