Boundaries That Build Trust: Why Caregivers, Parents & Professionals Need Them

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker explores one of the most misunderstood tools in caregiving, parenting, and professional relationships: boundaries.

Are boundaries about control? Far from it. Andy breaks down how healthy boundaries build trust, predictability, and safety, both at home and at work. From the challenges of setting boundaries with loved ones to the importance of consistency in professional care settings, this episode is packed with practical advice for anyone supporting others.

Whether you're a carer, parent, teacher, or team leader, this episode will help you see boundaries not as restrictions, but as roadmaps that help everyone navigate relationships more safely and successfully.

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💡 Sponsor Message:

This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK – the UK’s number one carers card offering discounts, support, and community connections for those who dedicate their lives to caring for others.

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📝 Key Topics Covered in This Episode:

🧠 Why Boundaries Matter in Every Relationship:

• How boundaries help us manage stress and protect relationships.

• The difference between personal and professional boundaries.

• Why boundaries aren’t about control – they’re about creating predictability and trust.

🛠️ Common Mistakes in Setting Boundaries:

• Inconsistency: Saying “no” sometimes, but not always.

• Using boundaries as punishment rather than guidance.

• Forgetting to explain the “why” behind your boundaries.

📚 Real-World Examples and Tools:

• What parenting and roller coasters have in common.

• The “taps and drains” model of energy management.

• When/then statements and how they reduce power struggles.

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💬 Key Messages:

1. Boundaries Create Safety, Not Control:
   They aren’t walls — they’re roadmaps for connection, respect, and emotional regulation.

2. Consistency Builds Trust:
   Shifting boundaries cause confusion and pushback. Clear expectations help others feel secure.

3. Lead by Example:
   Your boundaries only work if you model them too — especially with children or those you care for.

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⏳ Timestamps:

[00:00] – Introduction: The misunderstanding of boundaries
[00:17] – Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK
[01:45] – What boundaries look like in customer service and care roles
[03:56] – Why professional boundaries matter in care settings
[05:05] – Personal boundaries and the challenge of being a people-pleaser
[06:21] – Taps and drains: Understanding energy flow in relationships
[07:01] – Boundaries for emotional regulation and behavior
[08:07] – The roller coaster analogy: Why kids test boundaries
[09:43] – Boundaries in parenting vs permissiveness
[11:01] – Rules don’t ruin fun — they make it possible
[12:14] – Common mistakes with boundaries: inconsistency and power struggles
[13:22] – “Because…”: The psychology behind explaining your reasoning
[14:50] – Influence and fairness when setting rules
[15:38] – How to set boundaries effectively: clarity, simplicity, calm enforcement
[16:27] – Using when/then language and modelling behaviour
[17:24] – Hypocrisy and leadership: Follow the rules you set
[18:03] – Final thoughts: Boundaries as a fresh start
[18:36] – Bonus: What is Able Hub and how it supports carers and educators

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📚 Further Resources:

• 🔗 Able Hub – Access 45+ online courses, bonus podcast content, and a supportive care community.

• 📘 Targeting the Positive – Andy Baker’s book on behaviour and emotional regulation.

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📲 Connect with Us!

• 🔗 Instagram: @AbleToCarePodcast

• 🔗 LinkedIn: @AbleTraining

• 🔗 TikTok: @AbleToCare

• 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

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🎧 Subscribe & Share!

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more caregivers, educators, and parents discover how boundaries can improve relationships and reduce burnout.

Let’s create a community that supports and empowers each other.